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I was more chill, and pushing actually healed me from all those contraction pains I was facing. With the experience I had from Mena’s time, I learnt to push in a better manner which helped me quite well.  9.19am Baby safely out, Alhamdulillah. My stiches was not as bad, just a little bit of teared part. No cutting session Alhamdulillah which had also helped in my faster recovery as well.  Back to the labour story, as the doctor finished settling stiches and all that, I was informed I could move to the labour. And they serve me a milk with nasi goreng for lunch. #OnlyinMalaysia (I mean.. obviously I could not eat that rice, my hands were shaking to the point that I could not even hold the spoons properly. Tired. Powerless. I was like an octopus to be more specific.) So with my little energy, I teared the milk powder paper given and pour it to the hot water, shake it with small spoon and drink 1/3 of cup, all that process felt as if I just accomplished a boxing competition or

9.10am (which is 10 minutes after the last visit) The doctor came again, and informed that she will be just right outside the door and that I will need to tell her if I felt like pushing. I could not already respond, the pain comes very fast after a short gap, and it was just too intense to just handle myself. 9.15am My hands started to shake, could not bother surrounding and all I made sure was to focus with myself, keeping all the energy and all. After the doctor left, Hachi told me the gap is getting 1 min. Neither could I reply to Hachi, but I was clearly hearing it, and thought the progress is much faster than expected. Just when I thought of it.. suddenly something felt like coming out. I in fact thought it was already out or coming out, have no ideas how could I explain, but it was a little different from Mena’s time, it is not the feeling like pushing, even before I could feel like wanting to push, something felt like coming out already.  So I screamed! “Omg ho

It was on Monday. "We shall go to AU2 today, I wanna walk around again, plus might be our last outing before baby comes tomorrow". I have been telling Mena and Hachi that baby will come tomorrow. Baby due is already in a week, but no signs were yet to be seen. “You have been saying that honey.” Hachi said. “Nah, this time I am serious”. I replied. #Soconfident In which, we ended up accompanying Mena play at kids play room on that day, so technically I did now walk much, and because of that or not, baby continued to stay in the tummy. Fastforward, things were starting to change on Tuesday night. “Honey, No sign again” I said but nothing with disappointment, kind of knew this time baby loves my womb so much.  So I breastfed Mena at night, and was expecting the false alarm to come again. It was a usual pattern already where Mena would be breastfed and contraction would come every10mins for 2 hours and disappeared just like that.  But that

It is true when someone says,  “You feel happy in your marriage,when you fall in love with the same person again and again everyday”. I agree. I had fallen in love with Hachi thousands or millions of times, but interestingly that “love”changes as time passes by. I would say there were 3 times of the big change. Ever Wonder when do people actually feel “omg I love this person.”  I had known Hachi since 2012,I had a special feeling for him though we had never talked face to face but I carried that feeling, and had always wanted to know him. It was some sorts of love-feeling, not denying.  Early marriage, I had similar yet different “love” within myself for him. It was very fresh,the love that had known each other better but yet to face down sides of one another. It was more of loving (90%)and sacrificing (10%). Immature yet sweet. Perhaps you can say “addiction”for always wanting to have your partner by your sides.  The love changes again after having our first d

Today, the teachers had a meeting on how to face students who have problem with controlling anger, tantrums and emotional instability. Being in school, we can see the patterns of students who receive proper attention at home, whose parents are permissive, uninvolved, or perhaps too strict and lacking in attachment. It affects the students in such a way that the differences are easily distinguished. That freaks me out sometimes to be a mom. Well.. I am a mom already, there is no option to return back. But being pregnant with the second baby, and having a 2 year old toddler who still want her mommy all the time. Even better, being in the stage of wanting to try or have everything in her way, It had made me realize that parenting is really throwing me a rather large patience test that I have sit for the rest of my life. It was all fine. Of course, despite the happiness and joy, I had tiring days. Nevertheless, it was still manageable and relaxing to be honest. Untill.. I truly

Without us realizing, time had flown by very quickly! Lets have a brief flashback on 2018. I had my last semester. It was “OK”. Amena turned 1, a very special moment indeed. My internship was in Japan, and Hachi was in Malaysia. First time being apart for more than 2 months+ after marriage. It Was hard. Decided to settle in Japan with Amena. It was harder, cried. But alhamdulillah slowly getting used to it as time passed by. But But still needed to meet Hachi at least once in 2 months. Had an awesome convocation. And later had a cray cray schedule of work -with final exams, report card pick up, and being PIC of the performance day at my workplace. A roller coaster ride but fun. Had news of positive pregnancy. Amazing.  So yea, here I am today in-front of my phone, ready to write my first trimester experience. #BecauseifIdontdonowitwillprobablynotbeuploadedforever How was it? Well.. Like.. if you ask me. “Would I want the 3rd baby?" at that time, my answer in a secon