Welcome to Ni'matuljannah's

Without us realizing, time had flown by very quickly! Lets have a brief flashback on 2018. I had my last semester. It was “OK”. Amena turned 1, a very special moment indeed. My internship was in Japan, and Hachi was in Malaysia. First time being apart for more than 2 months+ after marriage. It Was hard. Decided to settle in Japan with Amena. It was harder, cried. But alhamdulillah slowly getting used to it as time passed by. But But still needed to meet Hachi at least once in 2 months. Had an awesome convocation. And later had a cray cray schedule of work -with final exams, report card pick up, and being PIC of the performance day at my workplace. A roller coaster ride but fun. Had news of positive pregnancy. Amazing.  So yea, here I am today in-front of my phone, ready to write my first trimester experience. #BecauseifIdontdonowitwillprobablynotbeuploadedforever How was it? Well.. Like.. if you ask me. “Would I want the 3rd baby?" at that time, my answer in a secon...

Yeyy! Flying to Malaysia. Never get bored of this excitement when knowing I will be back, stepping on my favorite place again in hours of time! Because why not!  There.. Roti Canai, Cendol Durian, Laksam, Pandan Gula Melaka Cake, Nasi minyak, Nasi lemak, Nasi ayam, Lagsania, Ayam KFC, cucur udang... Ah never-ending list goes ON....  Till I gain additional 5kg ONN.. Say goodbye to the body of skeletONNNN (Just kidding, Im teddy bear enough)  Oh ya.. almost forgetting, my darling husband is also awaiting me..! Ofc together with the food. (He must be, otherwise my brother the victim  :P  ) So here I come Malaysiaaaaaa 🌸 Reminder :  all the best to self, entertaining Amena for 7+hour of flight, excluding 2h of train journey, 1h line up for checking in, another an hour of walking plus taking off and not to forget all those hours to be repeated after arrivals. 

When the sky was dark enough, I put her asleep and whispered "sorry" to her ears.  The "Sorry" that was erased by the sound of ambulance passing by on the road besides our house. The "sorry" that was perhaps heard only by God.  That "sorry" that I whispered almost every single day from the guilt that I have been carrying inside, and perhaps will forever be carrying.  Sorry... For leaving you almost everyday. For not being able to be beside you during the day. For separating you with your most-favorite -person.  The first person you called with a clear name, the first person you used to search for when not around, the first person you jumped to when coming home.  Yes he was the person who first spoke to you with Azaan, change your diapers when mama was not able to move after delivery, the first person who put you asleep during nights. One of the first persons who love you before you were born.  -Ayah- I am and wi...

Reasons to being apart. It was a sudden decision made, on some random days during my practical training at one Islamic School in Japan. I had all the plans on what to do after grad, where to apply jobs, where to stay during Hachi's studies (Obviously I planned to stay in Malaysia, I love the country), and what to achieve during those. My plan sounded perfect, because why not, I will always be together with Hachi and he will always be with his daughter. But fate has always brought us apart. I mean... physically yes. Allah's plans have always been unpredictable, but the best of all of course. Everything changed after the intern. During my intern at Islamic School in Japan, in where majority of the students are Japanese, I had seen the students bright and dark sides. (I mean obviously human being, we have all those). It was strange that, day by day that feeling I carried was just getting stronger. Something was telling me that I should not lea...

-Written on 26th August 2018- When anniversary is supposed to be sweet, my husband and I never really spent a time together. (Except for last year where we spent our anniversary together, for the first time.) Some may know, I have been apart from him for a good 2 months. How does it feel? Honestly speaking it is that feeling that has never been easy no matter how many times you've gone through . That goodbye that has never once been a good one for me. Today was extra. He visited us to Japan for 5 days and today was the last day. We decided to leave Amyna home, since she has been out from morning till night in the past few days. Also, the fact that his flight was at night, we thought it would not be a smart choice to bring her along. When the time of leaving home came, I could see tears deep in his eyes. He kissed Amyna many times. My heart aches. I was keeping my tears.  Sad? Yes of course. But deep inside, we know this must be the best for us, if Allah has d...

Something I wrote on 20th June but delayed till today to up in blog.  ----- For the past few days, I was literally home alone with my daughter with Hubby having started his internship since Monday.  How does it feel? Well... Like, scolding the clocks that was never moving, counting down every single seconds till Hub is back home and all those experiences. Cleaning while carrying Amyna who sticks to Mama all time. Going to toilet with her while she is there staring at me doing what *cries blood* Oh! And, being scared with small sounds from outside. (I’m such a chicken when it comes to staying alone in a quiet place). But mother got to stay strong, while Amyna was scared I was trying to calm her down saying, “Hey that was just the sound from radio!” With my hearts beating as fast as bullet train in Japan *cries*  And not to forget, calling a not-busy sister every single hour. That sister who you have been ignoring  her request of video calling with Am...

Today I am writing about, one of my good friends, naming it “Bee”.  (Such a good name sense I have.)  People who knew the me before marriage know that I was with her 24/7.  We were more of  like sisters than friends. Of course, we have many other good friends we dearly love, but our relationship was honestly more like a family kinda thing.  It is perhaps because of the time we have been knowing one another. 6+ years straight of being close. Classmate, hostel-mate, room-neighbor, table just besides to each others, hence 24/7 being together at many moments. Maybe total up about 4 years of being 24/7.  Flashing back the times, it all begun on 2012, when we “coincidentally” joined the new school, on the same dates. 2nd April 2012. Perhaps we were meant to know each others since then. I was sent to a different class to learn English from basics, while she was sent to a normal form 4 class. Even that, I knew her through my hostel friend who coincident...